Josh Bernstein, DDS, Cosmetic Dentist

Yesterday I had the distinct pleasure of attending a garden party for my long-time friend, Suzy, on the occasion of her 50th birthday along with the 25th anniversary of her marriage to Mark. Her mother, Shirley, was one of my late mother's best friends and I spent a good long time chatting with Shirley yesterday. I love Shirley and feel like I'm once again in my mother's presence just being around her.

The first thing about this conversation that was so amazing was that it took place at all, since, over 20 years ago, we all thought Shirley was dying of cardiovascular disease. Shirley has always had an amazingly positive attitude and she matter-of-factly heard the news of her health issues back then and took action. She sought out the top specialist at UCSF who advised her to avoid heart surgery, get on the right meds, eat properly and manage her stress. Shirley reasoned that she would rather pay a massage therapist and other related practitioners than a heart surgeon. The cardiologist advised her to avoid stressful activities such as driving on the freeway, pointless worrying etc. During that period, I remember she kept a very busy schedule as always, but her dance card was filled with massages, manicures, pedicures, facials, yoga, light exercise, theater engagements, parties, dinners out, movies, travel and visiting with friends--on the phone and in person.

Over 20 years later, Shirley has maintained this life style. Now in her 80's and in remarkably good health, Shirley is also incredibly hip and stays current on EVERYthing! She knows about all the latest celebrities. She travels to New York, Paris and Hawaii with her traveling companions to see Broadway shows, museums or to just relax a little. She's up on all the latest artists and fashions--and the newest restaurants, shows, and movies. She sits on all kinds of boards of directors of land trusts, theater groups, her family business, and charities. And she maintains very close relationships with both of her kids and grandchildren, frequently traveling with them, too.

After knowing Shirley myself for 40 years, there was something Shirley said yesterday that really struck a chord. She said, "There's always something new." I realized that Shirley is not someone to live in the past. She is living in the here and now and enjoying every minute of it. She is involved in everything that is going on and doesn't dwell on age-related health problems. She has a cell phone and an email address. She is very well dressed and well kept--in fact, she looks gorgeous! She has a driver so she can go anywhere she wants--without stress. She is constantly making plans with her friends and family. And she is always trying to help anyone who needs help--from her friends and family to all the charitable organizations she is involved with. In everything Shirley does, she is full speed ahead, rarely looking back except to smile for a moment. Something we smiled about yesterday was that Shirley baked one of my mom's cookie recipes for the party--and they were just right.

Somewhere in my conversation with Shirley yesterday, I think she taught me the secret to life...